April 2003- We continued to learn and prepare as much as we could for her arrival. It did take some time to accept that I would not be able to hold my baby after she was born. I also had to process that we would not be able to take her home with us and she would start her life off with a major surgery.
During this time I would have good days and bad days.
I remember the beach being particularly hard for me. I recall going to my grandparents beach house a few weeks after we had learned her diagnosis. The beach has always been my happy place, but on this day as I watched the children run around the sand and in and out of the waves, my heart could not help but ache. With our research we had learned that often children with spina bifida (especially where her lesion was located L5-S2) had paralysis of the legs and feet. I worried how it would be when we would go to the beach and she would see all the other children running around. How much would that hurt her? How bad would my heart break during those times? Would I be able to handle it? These were the types of situations and questions that would arise during those months prior to her birth. A lot of "what if's".
On the bad days, I would go to my knees and ask for the peace to return. My journal from this time reads: "Lately I have been feeling this sweet spirit and peace around me. At first, I did not understand what it was, but one morning, it hit me, this is her spirit that I am feeling. What an amazing experience! One that I have never had. I sense sweetness about this little girl. I feel blessed to be her mother."
May 2007- We had a doctor’s appointment (one of many to monitor the fluid on her brain). This one was with a "specialist" up in L.A. We were reviewing the results of this test, when Bryant said something along the lines of "Isn't it a positive thing that it occurred lower on her back rather than higher?"
I will never forget the look on her face and what she said next.
She stopped.
Looked up at us and said: "DON'T YOU GET IT? GOD DID NOT DEAL YOU A GOOD HAND!"
18 comments:
Sarah, I am loving this sweet story. You have me in tears more than Friday Night Lights, and that's saying something.
All I can say is that doc sure missed the boat! How unfortunate for her!
this is where your story gets published. i've been waiting for this part. every time I tell someone about your story...and i tell them that famous line...and then i loose it. the tears come and i can't talk.
I remember you telling me that the doctor said that. I kind of wanted to hit her with my car. Good thing you have such an amazing testimony! You are so strong! I love you!
Thank you for sharing your sweet story!
Hi Sarah,
I have to admit I've been following your blog for quite some time now. I found you on Summer's blog. I have often been compelled to comment, but never had until now. I CANNOT believe that a Dr., a professional, would say something like that! I am completely appalled. I cannot wait to hear the rest of the story. Katie is such a beautiful girl and a blessing to this world!
Paige
I love reading Katie's story! Thank you for sharing.
I hope the doc is reading this now and seeing how wrong they were, and how great your life is. You are making the most of a difficult situation, and Katie is doing so well.
I agree with Megan, this story is totally publish worthy. How wonderful that you kept a journal. While I read this I can't help but picture Katies wonderful smile.
I remember you telling me that. I think that from day Katie had an incredibly large spirit.
WHAT?! UGH! Who would say that to anyone? Especially in that situation. If only that lady could see Katie today. You could say, "BOOYA!" :)
Sarah, I really think you should write a book about Katie's story so others going through hard times can see the positive that can come from something that could be so negative (it should have a lot of the wonderful pictures you've taken of Katie, which are wonderful). I can't wait to read the rest of the story!!
Jan White
(Whitney's mom)
Love checking this everyday and reading it! :)
Oh my, in fact, God did deal you a powerful, wonderful "hand" in that sweet, adorable girl. Those doctors really need to see and hear her now....they may change how they speak to other people who they counsel who are in similar "shoes." We can never underestimate God's love and power...it is evident in her life.
Love you,
MOM
I want you to let Katie WALK into that doctor's office TOMORROW! You let that preofessional see what God does in the lives of those with FAITH in his hands and not "doctors alone" I am so touched by your strength. Katie so picked you in the pre-existence. She knew...
Goosebumps...I have them. Thanks so much for sharing this.
I think He dealt you a great hand- A beautiful sweet little girl. Thanks for sharing this beautiful story.
Oh, Sarah, I don't think I ever heard about this part. What was that doctor thinking? What a blessing Katie is in your life!
You are a wonderful writer. I agree that you should write a book. Your family's experience would inspire so many people.
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